Sunday, October 8, 2017

Authors Byte


By Alicia Dean

Today’s Author Byte comes from Augustine Sam, author of Mystery/thriller, THE CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE 



Fun Fact about The Conspiracy of Silence: It was inspired by a radio play Augustine wrote and starred in many years ago.

1) What’s your favorite childhood book? Your favorite grown-up book?
Augustine: My favorite childhood book was a novel titled “One-Eyed Sunday” (now out-of-print).
My favorite grown-up book is “The Collected Oscar Wilde.”

2) What’s your favorite line from a TV show, movie, song, or book? (Other than your own)
Augustine: My favorite line from a TV show is a declaration by Walter White in Breaking Bad: “I am not in danger, Skyler, I am the danger.”

3) What is your favorite quote?
AugustineMy favorite quote is Bertrand Russell’s: “Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”

4) If you could be a character in any of your books, who would you be and why?
Augustine: If I could, I’d be Bill in my debut novel, Take Back the Memory, because he had the unique chance of reuniting with his childhood crush, Paige who loved him in ways she couldn’t explain even to herself, since “love is a mystery, an indecipherable mystery.”

5) If you were going to be executed, what would you choose as your last meal?
Augustine: I’d forgo the last meal for a soothing, final smoke of my aromatic pipe.

Question: How far can you go to save your lover from a murder rap if your life/career is at stake?

About the book:

Sex scandals in high places… a depiction of the life-and-death struggle of a young female lawyer who goes to great lengths to outwit a diabolical trio with a very dark secret in order to save her lover from a murder rap.

Excerpt: 

On this particular night, there were no lovers necking by the fountain, but there was something else. A black diamond Cadillac was parked beside the fountain. The curiously unusual sight caused the dim figure’s hands to shake with excitement. Cars were not allowed that far into the park, so whatever fantasies within the limits of human accomplishment the Cadillac’s driver had conceived, this was the wrong night for it, he mused. This’ll be my last murder, he decided, the climax of a long, enterprising career as the greatest hitman of all time. He was a killer so efficient and so elusive that even the FBI nicknamed him Shadow of Death for his uncanny ability to dissolve into a penumbra after every hit.

He immediately recognized the wonderful head of hair and the slender, sensual neck as the lone occupant of the Cadillac appeared in silhouette against the fountain. Suddenly his pulse quickened. He mopped his brow with a handkerchief and contemplated the lady’s mesmerizing beauty. It seemed odd to him now to think of her as a victim. He had loved her once; in fact, he still loved her. And therein lay the quandary—a lethal clash between his obsession and his survival instinct. The survival instinct, of course, must win, he told himself, for between them now stood the only thing that love could not subdue—a very dark secret.

Bio:

Augustine Sam is a journalist by profession, a novelist by choice, and a poet by chance. A bilingual writer and an award-winning poet, he writes not only hard news but literary works as well.
While pursuing hard news, he fell in love with poetry the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. He was the winner of the Editors’ Choice Award in the North America Open Poetry Contest & a Finalist in the International Book Award Gala. His poems have been published in international anthologies, including “Measures of the Heart” & “Sounds of Silence.”







Sunday, October 1, 2017

Tourist English

From AuthorSuite Travel Journal                                   
Outside a fuel station in Lagos

Google image

For many travelers, holiday fun doesn't end with the summer. The Fall is also a great season for vacation. So, whether you had a summer or a Fall vacation, now that you are back the question is: did you pick up something special during your travels, like souvenirs, foreign currency, or photos? Well, I picked up a non-tangible collectible which I'll call #TouristEnglish. You see, people in non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists.

Fall Reflection: Cincinnati Spring Grove Cemetery& Arboretum


Now, as part of the #AuthorSuite #HumorWeek, I'm sharing here a list of hilarious signs and expressions seen around the world: 


The Coliseum, Rome (Google image)
At a laundry in Rome:  LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. 

At a doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. 

Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.  

A giraffe at Nairobi National Park (Google image)
In a Nairobi restaurant:  CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

A sign outside a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

A sign on the hand dryer in a restroom: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
                                                                
A news item in an East African newspaperA NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Mt. Fuji with fall colors in Japan (Google image)
Instruction on using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel service flyer, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

St Moscow, Basil’s Cathedral (Google image)
Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER ON FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: 

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Google image
An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

Elephant-Parade, Thailand (Google image)
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Bangkok, Thailand (Google image)

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE. 


Google image
Tourist agency, Czech Republic: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

Hotel, ZurichBECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH
EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

Hotel, Bosnia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

*** Do you have holiday stories to tell? Send it to: #AuthorSuiteStories