WITH THE CRAFTY LOGIC OF A DACHSHUND
AuthorSuite Satire!
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| Dachshund_brown_puppy |
In recent times, certain triumphs that have become rather phenomenal and utterly inexplicable—in politics as well as in other spheres of life
including show-business, society, and even literature—have baffled many.
People have tried in vain to wrap their heads around the possible logic behind such
unforeseen trend and coup de grâce.
Now, here’s a story that explains it perfectly:
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| Female leopard |
A certain wealthy man goes
on a safari in Africa. He takes his faithful pet dachshund along for company.
One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long realizes he
is lost.
Wandering about, he catches a glimpse of a
leopard heading in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dachshund thinks, “Oh, my goodness! Am I about to die?”
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| Albertine Rift Safari monkey - Western Uganda |
Panic-stricken, he looks around him,
notices some bones on the ground. Hurrah! He has a brainwave. He immediately
settles down and begins to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching
cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy,
that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.”
Hearing this, the leopard halts in mid-stride, a look of sheer horror on his face. Slinking into the woods, he exclaims, “Whew, that was close. That dachshund nearly had me.”
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| Leopard Vs Monkey |
Meanwhile, a monkey who has been watching
the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can turn the detection into a
bargaining power in his quest for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
The dachshund turns in time to see the big mouth primate heading after the leopard with excitement, and somehow understands. Long story short, the monkey catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a sweetheart deal.
As expected, the leopard is furious that the dachshund had made a fool of him, and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that devious canine.”
Now, the dachshund, still unable find a way out of the woods, sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What trick dare I pull now?” Suddenly, he has another brainwave. So, instead of escaping as one might expect, he sits down with his back to the looming danger and pretends not to notice the furious leopard and his new friend.
As soon as they are within earshot, he says, “Where’s that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard.”
There! (I'm sure you get the drift.)
SOMETIMES IF YOU CAN’T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, JUST BAFFLE THEM WITH BULLSHIT.
Note: If you understand the satire, leave a comment.
Disclaimer: The story of the dachshund on a safari in Africa is not my original creation.
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